You can see the view of the Statue of Liberty from her 8th fl. office in the financial district.
Kailin and I visited Fey Fey, designer of FeyFeyWorldwide to chill and converse in her studio. She narrated her vivid dream, past inspirations behind collections, and quirks that make her the individual that she is.
K:
Okay, what was the last dream you had?
F[Y]:
Omygoood. i already have this typed down.
M:
Would you be able to interpret an outfit from this dream?
F[Y]:
No.. cause i didn't see how i looked like. But this was after a game of Poker on Sunday. So i basically dreamed... not of the game, but the people i play with. This is the dream i remember most recently.
Do you want the long or summarized version?
M:
i do want to be able to visualize your dream, the settings.
F[Y]:
Omygoood. i already have this typed down.
M:
Would you be able to interpret an outfit from this dream?
F[Y]:
No.. cause i didn't see how i looked like. But this was after a game of Poker on Sunday. So i basically dreamed... not of the game, but the people i play with. This is the dream i remember most recently.
Do you want the long or summarized version?
M:
i do want to be able to visualize your dream, the settings.
F[Y]:
There was a war before the poker game, and i lost both of my arms. But i got donated arms from friends.
They donated hands and fingers, so somebody helped to stitch them back together. So i finally have these arms to enter the poker room. i already knew that 1 person in the room of 10 wanted to kill me.
i had a gun with my broken arm and finger. But i couldn't get myself to use it because they were all my friends and i didn't know who it was that wanted to kill me. But i knew one was going to kill me, so i just put my gun on the table and said, "if you want to kill me, just do it i'm done."
And IMMEDIATELY someone shot me haha. i felt the pain; it was so real. And then i watched the bullet inside my body. And then there's a second shotttt. So i put my broken fingers into my wounds, and i was making sure i got shot.
Once i touched the bullet, i was like,"i'm dead." hahaha.
So i fell to my knees, and i stayed in this pose for 5 min.
Time was really real in my dream.
It was so long, i had to think about my whole life.
My life, people around me, and i think again that i'm dead when they disappear. And then, on the floor, i reach for my phone to text my family. But my phone is not working, it's all glitchy. But it wasn't all apps that were glitching.
All the apps i needed to text people were. i said to myself,
"i regret so much being a coward." And then, i literally get a notification pop-up on my phone saying,
PAY TWO DROPS OF BLOOD TO LIVE
Then i click: yes
i paid 2 drops of blood.
Then my phone started to count down.
5....
4....
3....
2....
1
and then i just woke up in real life.
K/M:
Wow.
F[Y]:
Also in the dream, it feels so real. It feels like a post-life kind of a situation. When i woke up at 8am, i was like, "i'm alive." [sigh of relief] Simulation of a parallel life.
K:
Do you remember where you got shot?
F[Y]:
In my hearttt. Because i put the fingers in.
M:
Do you usually have really realistic dreams like that?
F[Y]:
Not realistic, but where they feel real. It'll be realistic, but i think this one was the most realistic feeling, yeah.
K:
Have you ever died in your dream before?
F[Y]:
Yeah, i died a lot.
M:
This feels like a wakeup call in many aspects like a reflection on the people around you, and calling yourself a 'coward.'
F[Y]:
Yes because i had a gun, but i gave up on my power.
M:
Perhaps it was honorary because you're like, "Fine! Do it! i feel that a real coward would've just killed everyone in the room to be like, 'you can't kill me.’
F[Y]:
Maybe i got this dream to tell me to stop playing poker hahaha.
[The End of Yufei's Dream]
K:
How did you come up with the idea for the real estate show?
F[Y]:
Well, it's just i think it's very natural because a lot of the garments are just like a house. Every summer in New York, i like the idea of house viewing.
K:
Every summer?
F[Y]:
Yeah. You know, in the summer, people always queue for apartment viewing. You know, because a runway show is kind of like queuing.
Damn!
F[Y]:
And then i pay attention to every queueing in the street.
So every time i saw people queueing, i was like, this could be a show.
K:
How did you get into art? Because you didn't do it before.
F[Y]:
i feel like a lot of things in my career doesn’t have a solid reason. It was just like someday, i should do art. And i just did that haha.
K:
But what were you doing before? And what did you think you were going to do?
F[Y]:
i was studying physics computation in High school. But at one point i thought that it was boring. And my family immigrated to the States, so at a point i wanted to change.
K:
Both of your parents are architects. Do you feel that your practice of making clothing is similar to designing a public interface? Because your dad made things for the general public, right?
F[Y]:
Yes, like residency buildings.
K:
Do you feel like growing up around architecture over time became influential to you being part of fashion? Because fashion is also something that the public is a part of.
F[Y]:
Maybe subconsciously but I need to think more about that.
M:
A big thing that meshes architecture and fashion together is blue printing. Could that be an influence?
F[Y]:
It’s definitely the same way because we need to have patterns and then to cut out.
K:
Would you say you are more spiritual or logical?
F[Y]:
[long pause] i think, spiritual.
K:
Explain. Because your designs to me feel pretty logical, especially because they are so technical. And almost like puzzle pieces, architectural.
F[Y]:
Yes, i think that process-wise, it is very technical. i feel like i just don't really have an aim. i plan a lot of things to make things but i don't have a very specific target. i’m just thinking about different possibilities and transforming them. And then the next step goes. i feel like a lot of things just happen unconsciously.
M:
Is the process more important to you rather than the final piece? Nowadays, people tend to focus on “how can i make the final form look good and pretty” instead of both investing their own mind in how they want to sublimate into a process.
F[Y]:
Yeah, i think for me, it’s more about process.
i mean, it’s not about the process but my work is a process.
K:
A lot of the clothes you make, maybe not in the last collection, really distort the form. Or they are fully covered. But at the same time, a lot of the photoshoots you do are really sexy. So what is sexy to you? Because you have a unique eye to it.
F[Y]:
i think the clothes i make are not sexy, but they are sexual.
Because i’m not thinking about how to make it sexy. it might sound kind of cringe. i kind of really want to make women’s clothes. So i think about ‘sex’ a lot. Just gender. Sometimes people can think that women are the ‘second sex’.
And for a long time i was trying to think of womenswear as the first sex.
i don’t know if i am successful in that, but i think about that in my process.
You use your body
To feel or explore.
Or you use your body to be seen.
So a lot of the time i’m thinking about how clothes can make the wearer feel or explore. That’s what i’m thinking.This idea of like body positivity and body neutral. So it’s more about body neutral.
K:
i'm also thinking about the photo shoot that you did with the snowman hats. There's that one photo where the girl is wearing a nude thong over the bodysuit, and i feel like that's super perverted.
F[Y]:
Yeah. i think i'm also kind of perverted.
K:
That’s why it spoke to me. This body neutral thing is going even further than that, almost where it's in a lot of your photoshoots. The models that are wearing it feel very neutral but then they also have this strangeness, an alien vibe.
F[Y]:
Also, i really like mannequins. i once saw a Japanese movie about how this person loved a mannequin. It's the profile photo for @60000u. i think the director is really awesome, like, to shoot the mannequin, it feels like there's emotion in the mannequin.
M:
Screams porno movie from the 70s. Nureta Tsubo, 'wet vase'
Hobbies?
I just like to play poker. At Amanda’s. Hahaha. I’m addicted. But this is just my current hobby. i also play tennis. Like every Sunday, we play tennis and then play poker. But now it’s getting a little cold. So now we switched to squash.
What’s the weirdest job you’ve had?
I have interned in a bank. Between my second and third year of High school.
What did you do there?
We just learned how the bank is working.
What is your dream house?
This one i know. My dream house is in a super huge factory with a one bedroom apartment inside the factory. So when i open the door, i’m 0 minute to get to work.
Youtube watch later?
i watch everything immediately. i think i have 7-8, but i actually watched them. It's all, like, philosophy learning. i was more into it in high school [Hegelian philosophy]. He's a Chinese YouTuber, i think he's pretty controversial in China too. He's very radical; he just has really similar ideas with social theory.
Do you feel like making a collection makes you tired or does it make you like it even more?
i think usually, i like it more. i always have this idea of 'i want to make it again.'
Really? Then why do you switch to make new collections?
My emotion is 'i want to make something. 'And then i think that i could make it better. But i am also distracted by this new idea. So i would think about a lot of things at the same time.
Do you want to remake it because you’re unhappy with what you made or do you want to remake it to expand on the idea?
Expand yeah. And i think that if i were to revisit an idea after 5 years, it’s going to be a different thing.
How does being bilingual affect your thinking process or communication in general?
i think im really bad at communicating- even though i speak two languages, i don’t think i’m that good at either language. i think people who are good at languages- they really want to communicate. But also, if i first know something in English, i think it in English. If i hear something first in Chinese, then i think in Chinese. So a lot of the work i did, i learned in English. i think most of the time it’s hard for me to communicate because i don’t want to communicate.
If i want to communicate, i think it’s nice to communicate through other mediums.
Do you dream in English or Chinese?
Both. But that dream was in English. Mostly in Chinese, really depends on the dream. But mostly i dream in Chinese.
Do you have a favorite word?
Yes! i have one in Chinese. Means ‘like' 比如 [biru]
Let me ask google. The meaning is close to “such as.” i just really prefer this word structure wise, both left and right.
[Fey asks]
Do you guys have any rituals?
M:
When I was in the 4th grade, my best friend in Japan gave me matching purple dice, and i rolled it if i couldn’t make a decision. Every day in elementary school, i rolled it before school. So number 4 was my ultra lucky, and odd numbers would be a ‘watch out today.' So if i have a question, i'll roll the dice, make some decisions. Every single time it rolls an ultimate 4, i've never regretted it.
K:
In Providence, if i was feeling really bad about something, i would walk through this door, this portal, and think while walking through, i’m walking this portal into an alternate dimension that would make me feel better. It worked every time. And it would give me a moment to switch.
What's a personal tradition?
Yeah, i don't have any. i'm just existing. Oh, i have 4 toothpastes. They have the same flavors but they're different brands. i think i love toothpaste.
Top toothpaste?
I like this British one. [CORSODYL]
Thank You Fey Fey ♫
Interview: Kailin Hartley
Interview / Editorial: Mizu Matsuura *The i’s are kept in lower case to highlight the self
less Interview / Editorial: Mizu Matsuura *The i’s are kept in lower case to highlight the self